The story started off with a girl in a county side…
She was neither a farm girl nor a city girl. She was from a city called Dae Jeon, which was two hour drive away from Seoul. The girl’s name was Ye Seul. She had a long black hair, and dark brown eyes. She was thin and small (not short though). She lived with her parents and a older sister. She was a happy little girl. One day her dad disappeared, she wondered where he went. The little girl waited for her mom to come back from work. When she saw her mom, she ran to her mom and gave a big hug. She then asked her with a thin voice, “mom, where is daddy?” Her mom replied, “Your dad is in a business trip. He will be back soon.” Two month passed since he left. The two month seemed a long time to her since things changed. Ye Seul had a younger sister by then, and she wasn’t the youngest any more. Her mom paid more attention to her younger sister since she needed more care. Ye Seul got jealous of her younger sister for getting more attention.
One day when Ye Seul came back from school, she saw her mom packing. She was frightened by the big guys taking boxes out of the house. Her mom then told her that they were moving to Kazakhstan, where dad was. She was excited. Thinking of the plane she saw on TV. She pictured how things might be in couple of days. Few days later she was dressed in a pink dress ready to go to the air port with her mom and two sisters. They arrived at the airport in two hours. They got on the plane and in few hours later they were in another country. They came out of the plane and saw her dad waving at her. She ran to him and gave him a big hug.
Time flew by so fast; she was already finished up with her kindergarten in Kazakhstan. But during those years it was hard for her. She was different from others. The Kazakh and she looked alike but they couldn't communicate to each other. It was too much pressure for a child like her. For her first grade she was back in Korea. Things started to change when she got to elementary school. When ever she went to school, kids would make fun of her because she had no dad. She forgot that she had her dad in another country. She told her friends that her dad died in an accident. Other than being teased, the school was really strict. Kids her age would be hit by the teacher, if you didn't do your home work or break the class rule. Not all the teachers would do such a thing but her teacher was violent. It was hard for a young girl to get adapted to this environment.
A year later, her mom told her that they were moving back to where dad was. She felt sorry that she had forgotten her dad, she loved. She was back with the whole family. She was happy to be with her dad again, but the happiness didn’t last long. Her dad was too busy with his work; therefore, he would come home late and be gone before the kids woke up. She missed him. She missed the good night kiss he would give her every night. She felt like she was loosing her dad. It was same as having no dad for the kids. Years passed until she became a teenage girl.
She left to the states, because of sports. She stayed there for a year, not knowing what is going to come in time. Next year she left back to Kazakhstan, when she realized that her parents were divorced and she is going to be living with her dad. When her mom and her sisters left to Korea, she felt a bit home sick. Even though she was home, she never felt like she was home. She was Korean, as I mentioned, and she hated being one. In Korean society she was ignored. Their parents would tell their kids not to hang out with Ye Seul, because of her parents being divorced.
During the hard time she had, she would always think of the happy time in her past. When her family would go hiking, traveling, and having picnic with other families. She regretted about hating one of the picnic they went to with other families. She was in third grade when they went to the mountain with other families and had picnic. The men ate soup made out of dog’s meat, when the women and children ate Ramyon or Kimbab. Now she thinks it was one of the best times she had. Only thing that is left for her to do is forget the past and face the present.
This was a life of a girl in Korean, and I’m asking you (aliens) that you should give the people to live their lives. Life isn’t long; it’s fairly short compared to a turtle that can live up to few hundred years. The children are our future.

Peer Response – 1st read-through: By Michael Nehmad, Hawaii


1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
Yes because it is a very sad story but it makes us realize how short and precious the things that we take for granted such as parents are.

2. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
It was an original story but i'm not sure if there really was a plot. To me it seemed to jump around a lot just to prove how hard her life was.

3. Think about conflict. Does the story have a natural conflict? Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
Yes this story has a natural conflict, no matter where the she goes and what she does she is always unhappy. I don't really see an ending to this story so the climax wasn't great. This wasn't a story that was meant to be suspenseful but i do think it was interesting how she had to move from place to place never being happy.

4. Think of characterization—are the characters realistic? Individual? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
We get a pretty good description of the girl's character but not so much of the other characters. They kind of just blend into the background. You might want to add how the parents feel about her having such a hard time.

5. Think of word choice, imagery, and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? Do any word choices need changing?
This story is a little jumpy but the details are good and we picture all the bad things that happen to her. This story has a lot of voice

6. On the level of "culture"--what do you think this writer is trying to reveal about the culture he/she lives in? Summarize what this story tells/shows about its culture in a sentence or two.
In her culture she reveals that koreans find family as being very important because they tease her about not having a father where as in most countires they would feel bad for her.

7. Does this revelation of culture possess much insight or show you something unique? Do you get a picture of cultural practices? Of gender roles, love relationships, family roles, habits, religious practices, beliefs, food, social expectations, etc.? Should anything be thrown out? Added?
Yes, it is very sad to see how certain cultures would tease kids about not having a father and that she would tell people he was dead instead of somewhere elso working. This shows a lot about family roles and that it is frowned upon when parents put jobs before kids.

8. What areas of the story need the most improvement?
There are two big things. 1. I think you need to make an ending. There is really no concclusion to this story. Without a conclusion, this is just a description of a girl and not a story. 2. you need to connect each time she moves because we don't really know why she has to move each time even though it is essential to the story

9. Summarize the theme of the story in a sentence or two. Don't just summarize the story, or say what its topic is--that's not theme. "Theme" is what the story reveals about the topic. So put your theme statement in this sort of pattern: "This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic)." Do your best here. You'll show the writer what his/her story DOES say, as opposed to what the writer WANTS it to say.
The theme of this story is that it is very difficult growing up with a father who even though was there was kind of like a ghost.

Peer Response – 1st read-through: By Enrique Acosta


1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?
Yes I would let you live because it was an interesting and original story and it shows some culture and it has morale which is that you should value the things you have before they're gone and it's too late.

2. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)
The story was really original but you needed a better plot because you sort of kept jumping around.

3. Think about conflict. Does the story have a natural conflict? Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?
Yes the story does have a natural conflict, she had to move and she was always sad and picked on. You might want to make the climax more interesting and add some more writing to the ending.

4. Think of characterization—are the characters realistic? Individual? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?
The characters are definetley realistic and you have some good descriptions but I think that you should add some more descpritions like describe the mom and dad.

5. Think of word choice, imagery, and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? Do any word choices need changing?
You need to talk more about the setting and describe the setting a lot more, you might want to describe it from a bird's eye view what the town looks like what the airport looks like what Kazhakstan looks like, etc.

6. On the level of "culture"--what do you think this writer is trying to reveal about the culture he/she lives in? Summarize what this story tells/shows about its culture in a sentence or two.
I think she's trying to reveal that there is a job outage and some econmomic problems in her country and some people have to end up moving to another country in orede to get a steady job and the teachers are allowed to hit their students.

7. Does this revelation of culture possess much insight or show you something unique? Do you get a picture of cultural practices? Of gender roles, love relationships, family roles, habits, religious practices, beliefs, food, social expectations, etc.? Should anything be thrown out? Added?
I thought that the fact that teachers are still able to hit their students was unique. I also thought that the fact that her friend's parents didn't let them talk to her or hang out with her because her parents were divorced was unique and unusual. So I think that they value marriage.

8. What areas of the story need the most improvement?
The story needs a better plot and more descriptions of the setting and characters.

9. Summarize the theme of the story in a sentence or two. Don't just summarize the story, or say what its topic is--that's not theme. "Theme" is what the story reveals about the topic. So put your theme statement in this sort of pattern: "This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic)." Do your best here. You'll show the writer what his/her story DOES say, as opposed to what the writer WANTS it to say
You should value every day of your life and the privilidges that you get before it's all gone, I also think it says that you shouldn't lie because you might regret it and feel bad like when she lied about her dad being dead.
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