The story started off with a girl in a county side…
She was neither a farm girl nor a city girl. She was from a city called Dae Jeon, which was two hour drive away from Seoul. The girl’s name was Ye Seul. She lived with her parents with her older sister. She was a happy little girl. One day her dad disappeared, she wondered where he went. The little girl waited for her mom to come back from her work. When she saw her mom, she ran to her mom and gave a big hug. She then asked her, “mom, where is daddy?” Her mom replied, “Your dad is in a business trip. He will be back soon.” Two month passed since he left. The two month seemed a long time to her since things changed. Ye Seul had a younger sister by then, and she wasn’t the youngest any more. Her mom paid more attention to her younger sister since she needed more care. Ye Seul didn’t know that back then though.
One day when Ye Seul came back from school, she saw her mom packing. She was frightened by the big guys taking the boxes out of the house. Her mom then told her that they were leaving to where dad was. She was excited. Thinking of the plane she saw on TV. Few days later she was in the air port with her mom and two sisters. They got on the plane and in few hours later they were in another country. She was excited. They came out of the plane and saw her dad waving at her. She ran to him and gave him a big hug. She finished up her kindergarten in Kazakhstan, and then she was back in Korea. She was in a first grade when things started to change. When ever she went to school, kids would make fun of her because she had no dad. She forgot that she had her dad in another country. She told her friends that her dad died in an accident.
A year later, her mom told her that they were moving back to where dad was. She felt sorry that she had forgotten her dad, she loved. She was back with the whole family. She was happy to be with her dad again, but the happiness didn’t last long. Her dad was too busy with his work; he would come home late and be gone before the kids woke up. She missed him. It was same as having no dad for the kids. Years passed until she became a teenage girl.
She left to the states, because of sports. She stayed there for a year, not knowing what is going to come in time. Next year she left back to Kazakhstan when she realized that her parents were divorced and she is going to be living with her dad. When her mom left her with her sisters she felt a bit home sick. Even though she was home, she never felt like she was home. She was Korean, as I mentioned, and she hated being one. In Korean society she was ignored. There parents would tell their kids not to hang out with Ye Seul, because of her parents being divorced.
During the hard time she had, she would always think of the happy time in her past. When her family would go hiking, traveling, and having picnic with other families. She regretted about hating one of the picnic they went to with other families. She was in third grade when they went to the mountain with other families and had picnic. The men ate soup made out of dog’s meat, when the women and children ate noodles or Kimbab. Now she thinks it was one of the best times she had.
This was a life of a girl in Korean, and I’m asking you that you should give the people to live their lives. Life isn’t long; it’s fairly short compared to a turtle that can live up to few hundred years. The children are our future.



external image edit.png----

Peer Response – 1st read-through- Tyler heelan

1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

I would let this story teller live for another day because it is an entertaining story and the more you read the more you want to read.

2. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

I think that it is a very creative story. I like the fact that it doesnt leave anything out.

3. Think about conflict. Does the story have a natural conflict? Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

Yes it does have a conflict. It is between the girl and her parents. She never knows what is going to happen. The only thing i would add is have more of a description of what the girl looks like.

4. Think of characterization—are the characters realistic? Individual? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

Yes the characters are realistic because this is a situation that has happened to alot of kids.

5. Think of word choice, imagery, and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? Do any word choices need changing?

There is some very good word choice. I would just add more detail about the characters.

6. On the level of "culture"--what do you think this writer is trying to reveal about the culture he/she lives in? Summarize what this story tells/shows about its culture in a sentence or two.

I think that it is to show us what korean life is like in some cases. Your story was well written and fun to read.

7. Does this revelation of culture possess much insight or show you something unique? Do you get a picture of cultural practices? Of gender roles, love relationships, family roles, habits, religious practices, beliefs, food, social expectations, etc.? Should anything be thrown out? Added?

It shows alot of family roles. I can relate to what happens to the girl in this story because i've seen it happen alot.

8. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

Add more details about the scenes. For example what the people and places look like. other then that it was a well written story.

9. Summarize the theme of the story in a sentence or two. Don't just summarize the story, or say what its topic is--that's not theme. "Theme" is what the story reveals about the topic. So put your theme statement in this sort of pattern: "This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic)." Do your best here. You'll show the writer what his/her story DOES say, as opposed to what the writer WANTS it to say.

I think that the theme is to not let things put you down and stop you from keep on going. The girl never stoped herself from moving on. She even went to the states.


Peer Response – 1st read-through: Andy Ingle PS: Thanks for yor comments on my page.

1. On the level of story-telling: if you were the King (or the aliens), would you allow this story-teller to live another day? If no,why not?

Yes all the basics were there of a good story.

2. Think of plot—is it original? (If an adaptation, is it creative or interesting to you?)

Yes it appears to be origanal.

3. Think about conflict. Does the story have a natural conflict? Are there complications that add enough suspense, tension, or interest? Is there a climax that satisfies you? Is the resolution satisfying? What could be added or changed?

The conflict is not having a father. The is no resolution but that of just living.

4. Think of characterization—are the characters realistic? Individual? Do we get a good sense of character from many of these: description, dialogue, narrator's opinion, discussion from other characters, the character’s own actions?

The charaters are empty, no detail is given on the setting or on the people. But that is alright because the reader fills the gaps with images from their own life.

5. Think of word choice, imagery, and details. Do they help you see and hear and experience the story? Do any word choices need changing?

This isn't a imagry story, its purpose isnt to be flowery, and showy.

6. On the level of "culture"--what do you think this writer is trying to reveal about the culture he/she lives in? Summarize what this story tells/shows about its culture in a sentence or two.

KyongMin L's story showed the difficulties of living in a devorised family in Korea and others look on Ye Seul's family.

7. Does this revelation of culture possess much insight or show you something unique? Do you get a picture of cultural practices? Of gender roles, love relationships, family roles, habits, religious practices, beliefs, food, social expectations, etc.? Should anything be thrown out? Added?

In the US divorice has become common place so to see the other side of the issue where it is frowned apon shows different culture.

8. What areas of the story need the most improvement?

This story could use more background and more details.

9. Summarize the theme of the story in a sentence or two. Don't just summarize the story, or say what its topic is--that's not theme. "Theme" is what the story reveals about the topic. So put your theme statement in this sort of pattern: "This story reveals that (topic) is (message about the topic)." Do your best here. You'll show the writer what his/her story DOES say, as opposed to what the writer WANTS it to say.

This story is to tell a story it doesnt have a theme, its just to tell a story.